It’s a Saturday night, you’ve decided to have a chilled weekend and a movie seems like the perfect plan. You head out, get there just in time to avoid the rush, buy two tickets for yourself and your better half, purchase some popcorn and try not to overdo the salt&vinegar.
The trailers are about to start. A few people are filing in last minute. You’re not watching one of the latest releases, so it shouldn’t be a full house. In fact, there are a lot of free seats.
But, two people have decided to sit directly behind you. It’s like your presence in front of them is somehow comforting as opposed to sitting in some lonely, isolated seats elsewhere. You feel slightly annoyed by their decision to sit in such close proximity, but you decide to rather put it out of your mind and relax.
The trailers start. You haven’t been to the movies in forever, so you’re looking forward to seeing all the upcoming attractions. The lights have dimmed and you’re ready to sit back and enjoy – but – it’s like the people sitting behind you haven’t even realised that when the lights dimmed, that was their cue to shut the hell up!
You try to ignore their idiotic chatter and attempt to placate yourself with the thought that they will most likely stop talking in the next few minutes. Perhaps they frequently go to the movies and have seen all of the trailers. They’ll definitely know not to talk when the movie starts.
You strain to block out their annoying voices while you try to follow the trailers. It’s getting closer to the time when the dimmed lights will fade into insignificance, and surely then tweedle dee and tweedle dumb will shut their pie holes.
Finally, the moment arrives. The lights go out and the intro music starts up. The only other pleasant noise that you expect to hear is the faint sound of crackling popcorn. But, life sucks! Instead of movie bliss, you’re getting a blow-by-blow about x’s marital problems. Their conversation is becoming more animated and your chair is now receiving the occasional jolt from an expressive arm or leg gesture.
You breathe in deeply and look at better half who is significantly less confrontational. Somehow, he has managed to use his super powers to block out external irritants. Oh, how you wish you had these powers, but right now these two lame brains are your kryptonite, breaking down the limited powers of self-control you possess.
The movie has just begun, you can still get into it if they stop talking. right. now. You will them to keep quiet. right. now. Nope, they continue chatting. You look over at better half again. His blissful oblivion is now starting to irk you. You sigh loudly and toss your head back hard against your seat, hoping someone will take note. Better half notices, gets a quick summary of the situation and encourages apathy for the sake of peace.
By the time the chatter ceases, it is too late. You have missed the introductory story line, and you’re too annoyed to care anymore.
Yes, perhaps this has happened to you. I feel your pain. This is my story and this is why I hate people who talk during a movie.